it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
MIDGETS
????
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
