Dual....:-)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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