Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Rumble strips road head = magical
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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