Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
