problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we're making bets on your personal life
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize