This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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