haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
