So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
