end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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