Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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