It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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