omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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