Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
