I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
