I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the raccoons are back...
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