he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
