there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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