I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
