all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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