My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
