It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
