she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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