when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
