So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
