saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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