you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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