my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
