I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
