Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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