Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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