So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
