You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
