you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You're like the curious george of whores
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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