so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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