whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
