YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
