all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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