just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
