I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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