OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
