Your face is a jimmy john
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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