I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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