a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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