so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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