Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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