I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
