Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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