Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
