I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
