there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
