OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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