I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
