I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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