I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
