Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
