stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
