is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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